


Just Chatting (and trying not to give myself away)

by AlpineFresh



Series: So no one told you life was gonna be this way [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, Bullying, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Gen, Hybrids, More character tags will be added as the story progresses, Orphan ranboo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, everything in this fic will remain platonic, group chats, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlpineFresh/pseuds/AlpineFresh
Summary: Ranboo has been added to INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-ORanboo: Hello?WIFEHAVER: ELLO RANBOOB I HABE ADDE D YOU TO OUR POGGERS GROUP CHATRanboo: what is this??Ranboo’s name has been changed to RANBOOB(Also known as a chat-fic that isn't entirely a chat-fic because I physically can't stop myself from writing actual scenes)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Everyone & Everyone, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Wilbur Soot, Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Series: So no one told you life was gonna be this way [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189022
Comments: 97
Kudos: 562





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well well well... Look what we have here- a multichapter fic! 
> 
> Not necessary to read the previous fic in the series, but strongly recommended for the sake of a little more context and setting.
> 
> It's a bit of a gamble about how this is gonna go, but I had a lot of fun writing the first chapter (and spending multiple hours trying to figure out several display names for chat members and then suffering through figuring out chat names and school names). So I hope you'll enjoy it!!
> 
> TW: brief mentions of bullying and biased teachers

School wasn’t so bad when Ranboo had various different hidey places to spend his lunch break and food he packed ahead of time.

Ranboo felt a small sense of pride knowing that no one else had found his favourite spot yet throughout his time at highschool. 

It wasn’t much, really just a glorified closet with a desk he managed to sneak in. The only reason he had found it in the first place was because he accidentally teleported during an unpleasantly competitive game of dodgeball in an instinctive attempt to escape a stressful situation.

Ranboo let out a relieved sigh as he stood up to his full height, rolling his shoulders and letting his tail flick out behind him. 

It was so annoying to constantly be hunched over and having to keep his tail close to his body. Being able to stretch freely without people getting scared of him or grabbing at his tail was quite possibly the best part of having a secret room behind the gym stage.

His phone vibrated from the table, lighting up with a notification.

He ambled over and plucked his phone up off the wooden surface with a curious trill, and tilted head.

**Ranboo** **_has been added to_ ** **INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

Ranboo frowned. What was this? Some kind of peculiar prank? A mistake?

**Ranboo: Hello?**

**WIFEHAVER: ELLO RANBOOB I HABE ADDE D YOU TO OUR POGGERS GROUP CHAT**

Oh, well then that’s just obvious. Tommy’s the only one he knows who regularly says _‘poggers’_ , and that wasn’t even _mentioning_ the display name.

**Ranboo: what is this??**

**WIFEHAVER: UGH UIY HVAVE SUCH A BORUNF NAME**

**Ranboo’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **RANBOOB**

**RANBOOB: Oh no absolutly not**

**RANBOOB’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **ranboo**

**ranboo: thats better**

**WIFEHAVER: CIRNFE**

**Tubbee: CIRNFGE**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: CRINGE**

Ranboo inhaled sharply, hastily typing out his next message.

**ranboo: tommy how many people are in this chat**

**WIFEHAVER: AHAHHAHAHA FUNNY STORY**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: 13, 14 including you. This is Wilbur, btw**

Ranboo gently set his phone down on the table, staring blankly at the spider web in the corner that he’d been too scared to try and get rid of. The phone buzzed incessantly with new messages as he started pacing in tight circles, tail lashing anxiously.

_“Thirteen,”_ he muttered under his breath, nails digging into the palms of his hands.

He didn’t even _know_ thirteen people who weren't either intimidated by him or trying to kick him in the shins. Oh jeez, would Tommy get mad at him if he left the chat? There was no way he could possibly be expected to socialize with that many people, he would honestly rather jump in the pond than embarrass himself in front of several strangers.

The teen froze suddenly, ears flicking back. The cellphone had stopped buzzing and Ranboo could almost pretend he hadn’t gotten any messages in the first place- if not for the little flashing light signifying the unread notifications.

He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair as he sighed quietly.

Might as well try to get it over with, maybe it would spare him some of the embarrassment if he got out now.

**Tubbee: OH AND IM TUBBO :D**

**Tubbee: HELOO**

**Tubbee: OIS HE OHSAY??**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: shit, do you think we scared him off**

**WIFEHAVER: RANBOOB**

**WIFEHAVER: BOOB BOY**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Tommy I don’t think referring to him by insulting nicknames is going to make him come back**

**WIFEHAVER’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Child**

**Child: YES IT WILL**

**Child: FUCKJ UO WILHER IM NOR A CHIDL**

**Child’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **BIGMAN**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO GET BAKC IN GERE**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO**

**Techno: Tommy, stop spamming.**

**BIGMAN: OH SHUT UP RHECNOBLADE**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: hello Techno**

**Tubbee: HYEA TECHOBLADE**

**BIGMAN: YOU GIYS SUCK**

**Techno: I’m not the one spamming during school hours.**

**BIGMAN: FUCK YOU FUCKE YOU FUCK YOI FUCK YUO**

**Techno’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **TECHNOBIYJC**

**TECHNOBIYJC’s** ** _name has been changed to_** **Techno**

**Techno: Guess who’s not getting help with their algebra homework later**

**BIGMAN: FUCK**

**BIGMAN: FINE ILL SHUT UP FO NOW**

**ranboo: sorry about that. I’m just going to leave the chat now if thats alright**

**BIGMAN: WAIT**

**BIGMAN: DONT LEAVE YET EVERON ELSE IS BORINF**

**BIGMAN: BACK ME UP TUBBO**

**Tubbee: YEAHHA COME ON BIG GUY**

**Tubbee: STAY IN TEHR GROUFH CHAT**

**Tubbee: WE NEED A NEW FACE RO SPOCE THINGE UP ROUFND HERE**

Ranboo’s thumbs hovered indecisively over the keypad.

**DirtyCrimeBoy: You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to Ranboo. But you are welcome to stick around.**

A long pause, he could already feel himself crumbling under the pressure, finding himself unable to refuse and risk disappointing the one person he considered a friend.

**ranboo: alright**

**BIGMAN: POG**

**Tubbee: POG**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: sweet. Now start heading to class, lunch is done in 5 and tommy i know your next class is on the other side of the building**

**BIGMAN: UGHAISDH**

**BIGMAN: BUT WE JUST GOT HIM TO STAY**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: and you can talk to him later**

**BIGMAN: FINE**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Not during class**

**BIGMAN: FUCK YOU**

**Techno: Tommy don’t make me get Philza**

There was no response from Tommy that time, the chat falling silent.

Ranboo melted into the cool floor, not minding the layer of dust that was probably clinging to his clothing and short fur.

That was one heck of an ordeal. Goodness, he really hoped the whole chat wouldn’t be like that, his social battery would constantly be dead if that were the case.

At least he didn’t have to do much socializing in his day to day life to begin with, he was sure he’d find a way to survive it.

The shrill ringing of the school bell earned a groan from Ranboo, curling up into a fetal position on the floor.

This was so stupid- he didn’t even have enough time to finish his sandwich.

_But it’s necessary,_ he reminded himself as he pushed himself to his feet. It was imperative that he got through highschool with at least passing grades, skipping a class because he wasn’t in the mood for it wasn’t an option for him. He was the one that would suffer if he flunked out of highschool and couldn’t get a job.

Ranboo snagged his half-eaten sandwich off the table and shoved his phone into his pocket.

Time to make a mad dash for the physics classroom and hope he wasn’t too late.

\---

**INMATES- It's just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Honkmeister: YOOOOO**

**Honkmeister: WHYA DID NO ONE TELL ME WE GOT A NEW CHAT MEMBER????**

**Feralsideofsnapchat: we what**

**Feralsideofsnapchat: gdi dream**

**Feralsideofsnapchat's** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Sap**

**Honkmeister: LMAO**

**Honkmeister: THAT WAS ACTAULLY ME**

**Sap: you're lucky you're one of the homies**

**Honkmeister: :)**

**Sap: ;)**

**Quack: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT GUYS**

**Quack: STOP FLIRTIBG WITHOUT ME**

**Quack: FLIRTING***

**Honkmeister: SORRY D:**

**Sap: I'll buy you rock candy tomorrow**

**Quack: ...**

**Quack: apologies accepted**

**Quack: now what was that about a newbie?**

**Honkmeister: OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT**

**Honkmeister: I think his names ranboo?**

**Quack: dont recognize the name is he from your school?**

**Honkmeister: not sure. I dont recognize it either so probably not in any of my classes**

**Sap: same here**

**Quack: I bet Wilbur knows**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: I don't, actually**

**Quack: WTF I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP**

**Honkmeister: you dont?????**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: yes well, I thought you were asleep, but it seems we're all full of surprises tonight**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: I only met him a week ago when Tommy invited him for movie night**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: the topic of school never really came up**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Not too sure tommy knows either**

**Honkmeister: CHALLENFE ACCWPTED**

**Sap: ?**

**Honkmeister: I'M GOIG TO FIND OUT WOCH SCHOOL HE GOSIE TO**

**Quack: HELL YEAH, LET'S GOOOO**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: word of advice; Ranboo's very skittish, try not to spook him off so soon**

**Honkmeister: font worry!! I'm a friendship expert**

**Sap: I'm heading to bed now**

**Quack: GN**

**Honkmeister: SLEP WELL BEUTIFFAL**

**Sap: karl you go to sleep too**

**Honkmeister: WILL DO**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: don't let the bedbugs bite**

Ranboo watched the messages pop up on his phone screen, saying nothing throughout the entire conversation.

Maybe it wasn't necessarily the _best_ idea to have his phone on in the middle of the night- but he was hiding under the blankets, so the light shouldn't wake anyone up unless he was particularly unlucky.

He couldn't help the pool of unease in his gut at the written discussion partially about _himself._

_Sapnap._ That was a name that he recognized.

A second year in his school as well as best friends with Dream, who was easily the most terrifying guy in school.

Ranboo hadn't had the pleasure of meeting Dream personally- and with any luck, he wouldn't have to- but the dude definitely seemed like someone who would beat Ranboo up for laughs.

Literally the most athletic person in a highschool that prioritized sports. Not only was Dream incredibly fit and in shape, he was _popular._

Another rather unsettling thing- Dream always wore the same mask covering up his facial features. Rumours and theories were always in circulation, so many dying to know what was under the mask. 

Ranboo, personally, _could not care less._ He would rather keep his _life,_ thank you very much.

So yeah, he was going to have to be extra sneaky thanks to that group chat. No way was he going to take the risk of Dream finding out who he is and becoming the man's personal punching bag.

He knew how Athlos Secondary functioned. The teachers and principal would always turn a blind eye for the sake of their precious sporty kids. Ranboo would be more likely to get in trouble for _'instigating'_ than they were for giving the weird enderman hybrid without parents a couple of bruises and a bad day.

As much as the skewed justice system made his lips curl up in disgust, there was nothing he could do about it.

Ranboo slid his phone under his pillow and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the amount of added stress as he waited for sleep to take him away.


	2. Creation of OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow wow, I got this out faster than I was expecting to!
> 
> TW: None
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :D

**OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Sapnap** **_has been added to_ ** **OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Quackity** **_has been added to_ ** **OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Karl's** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Ringleader**

**Ringleader: YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY I'VE SUMMONED YOU HERE TODAY**

**Sapnap: uh yeah kinda**

**Ringleader: THIS CHAT S FOR TRYING TO FIGURE OYT WHICH SCHOOL RANBOO GOES TO**

**Ringleader: ITS CLALLED OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO AVOID SUS**

**Sapnap: couldn’t we just ask him**

**Ringleader: YEAH**

**Ringleader: BUT DONT YOU WANT TO TEST OUR SNEAKINESS?**

**Sapnap: you raise a fine point**

**Ringleader: QUACKITY U HERE??**

**Quackity: 1 secc**

**Quackity’s name name has been changed to Ducktective**

**Ducktective: WHATS THE PLAN OF ATTACK COMRADES?**

**Ringleader: STEP ONE**

**Sapnap’s** ** _name has been changed to_** **Spynap**

**Ringleader: STEP TWO**

**Ringleader: SPAM THE MAIN GC UNTIL WE SEE SOMEONE LOOK AT THEIR PHONE AND RESOND AT THE SAME TIME AS RANBOO**

**Ducktective: NOPE VETOED**

**Ducktective: I FEAR TECHNOS WRATH**

**Spynap: yeah i agree with quackity on that one.**

**Spynap: we can…**

**Spynap: ask which classes he has?**

**Ringleader: WHAT THE HONK THATS A PERFECT IDEA**

**Ducktective: LETS GO!! SAPNAPS POPPING OFF!!!**

**Spynap: HELL YEAH**

**Ringleader: AWESOME!!!**

**Spynap: wanna place bets on which class he has first?**

**Ducktective: EYYY YOU KNOW IT HOMBRE**

**Ringleader: guys wait are yous ure thats a goodd idea**

**Spynap: 20 BUCKS SAYS HE HAS MATH FIRST**

**Ducktective: EW 30 ON SCIENCE**

**Ringleader: u sure about htis??**

**Ducktective: COME ON KARL GIVE US A BET**

**Spynap: YEAH COME ON KARL**

**Ringleader: FINE FINE**

**Ringleader: 20 ON GYM**

**Ducktective: HA WHAT KIND OF SORRY LOSER HAS GYM FIRST**

**Spynap: at least I don’t puke everytime I play basketball**

**Ringleader: LMAO**

**Ducktective: RUDE**

**Ducktective: THAT WAS ONE TIME YOU JERK**

**Ringleader: LETS NOT ARGUE RN**

**Ringleader: WHICH BRAVE SOUL IS GOING TO TRY AND LEAERN ABOUR RANBOO FIRST??**

**Ducktective: I can try**

**Ringleader: ITS ME IM VOLUNTEERINF FOR TRIBUTE FIRST**

**Ducktective: AYO SOUNDS GOOD**

**Ducktective: ILL BE YOUR HYPE MAN**

**Ducktective: WOOOO LETS GO KARL LETS GO**

\---

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Honkmeister: UGH**

**Honkmeister: CHEMISTRY IS THHE WORST MORNING CLASS**

**Honkmeister: HEY NEWBIE WHICH CLASS DO YOU HAVE FIRST**

Ranboo snorted quietly at the question. Did Karl take him for an idiot? They didn’t even delete the previous night’s conversation.

**ranboo: Oh, you have chemistry first**

**ranboo: dont you guys get to do lab experiments there?**

**Honkmeister: yeah but then we have to write a bunch of things down and its WAY too early for that stuff!!**

**Honkmeister: I just wish I had art class first :(**

**ranboo: at least you don’t have math first, math sucks**

**Honkmeister: is that your mourn9gn class??**

Ranboo grinned at how quickly Karl responded, the other teen wasn’t very sneaky in his attempts. It was rather amusing until Ranboo remembered that these people were friends with Dream.

His smile died down as he entered the school building, sticking close to the walls of the hallways and beelining it for his first class of the day.

**ranboo: idk**

**ranboo: i just hate math**

**Honkmeister: TRUE**

**ranboo: I need to get to class now**

**ranboo: BYE**

**Honkmeister: BYEE**

Ranboo waited a few seconds before pocketing his phone, subtly glancing around to make sure he wasn’t being watched by anyone.

He wasn’t sure who Karl was, but it was a fairly common name, and he didn’t want to risk getting found out so soon because of his own carelessness.

So Ranboo would play their games. If he threw enough misdirection and found subtle ways to change the subject, he could keep this up until they finally got bored of him.

Who knows, maybe it’d even make the school days more interesting (if a little more nerve-wracking than before).

\---

**OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Ringleader: Darn**

**Ducktective: YOU JUST GOT FUCKING BAITED LMAO**

**Spynap: L**

**Ducktective: L**

**Ringleader: I WONT GIVE UP**

**Ringleader: QUICK**

**Ringleader: THROW ANOTHER PLAN AT ME**

**Ducktective: do you think tommy knows anything?**

**Ringleader: Hey thats actually a really good idea**

**Spynap: yeah**

**Ringleader: yeah**

**Ducktective: Alright so which one of us is being sacrificed to the child**

**Ringleader: NOT IT**

**Spynap: not it**

**Ducktective: not it**

**Ducktective: FUCK**

**Ducktective: This is fucking bullshit**

**Ducktective: i was the one who came up wiht the idea in the first plcae**

**Ringleader: SORRY D:**

**Spynap: im not**

**Ducktective: this is a fucking SCAM**

**Ductective: FIRST YOU FLIRT WITHOUT ME. THEN YOU STICK ME WITH BABYSITTING DUTY??**

**Ducktective: what are you gonna do next? CUDDLE WIHOUT ME**

**Spynap: I mean… Maybe if you keep that attitude up we will.**

**Ringleader: WE WOULD NEVER!**

**Ringleader: BUT YOURE ALSO THE ONLY NE OF US WHO GOES TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS HIM**

**Ringleader: PWETTY PWEASE**

**Ducktective: fine**

**Ducktective: BUT YOU GUYS OWE ME MORE THAN ROCK CANDY THIS TIME**

**Spynap: Sleepover?**

**Ducktective: only if we kissin the homies gn**

**Spynap: of course! im offended you would think otherwise**

**Ducktective: UGHHHH THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT**

**Ringleader: STOP STALLING THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL NEEDS YOU**

**Ducktective: AYE AYE CAP**

  
  


\---

Quackity grumbled under his breath, tapping his pencil against the side of his desk impatiently as he awaited the sweet bells of temporary freedom. It took all of his willpower just to prevent himself from ruffling his wings every few seconds.

He still couldn’t believe they forced him to bargain with Tommy after coming up with the idea himself.

It wasn’t that he disliked Tommy- quite the opposite in fact, kid was a fucking legend. Never afraid to speak his mind and almost always hilarious. Not that he’d ever tell Tommy that, he’d never hear the end of it if he told Tommy he was actually funny.

The real problem lied in the fact that Tommy habitually scammed people for even the smallest favours.

_‘What’s that? You want me to pass you your phone charger? What’s in it for me.’_ Is an exact thing Tommy has said before. 

Not that Quackity hasn’t pulled similar stunts- but that’s besides the point!

Bottom line, it’s not worth it to ask Tommy for favours unless you were willing to pay up in whatever obscure way he asked.

The bell rang to signal the end of the first morning class and Quackity was the first out the door, rushing to intercept Tommy before the first year could get to his next class.

He spotted Tommy’s vile posture and wagging raccoon tail through the crowd of tired teens making their way to their classrooms.

“Tommy!” He called, expertly weaving his way through the masses.

The raccoon hybrid turned around and grinned when he spotted Quackity, “Ey, _big Q!”_ Tommy greeted exuberantly.

“What can I do for you, _huh,_ big Q?” Tommy asked.

_Last chance to back out._ _“Tommy!_ Good to see you, man! Can’t a guy just want to see his friend.”

Tommy raised his brows, seeing straight through his bullshit, “Big Q, we have five minutes before class starts and ol’ Tubso decides to be a clingy bitch again.”

Quackity chuckled, “Right, right… So about that _Ranboo_ guy. You got any info on him?” Right, so that may have been a somewhat poor choice of wording, but hey, they can’t all be winners.

The taller crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, “What do you wanna know?”

“Relax man, I just wanted to know which school he goes to,” Quackity reiterated.

Tommy’s face scrunched up, like he was fucking constipated or something.

“Oh my god, Quackity. You are so fuckin’ stupid, _how-_ no, nevermind, I don’t want to tell you,” Tommy decided with a loud bout of laughter.

Quackity’s wings twitched with mild irritation. What the hell was he missing? “What? What is it? Just tell me, man!”

Tommy cleared his throat, eyes gleaming with the familiar light of a bad idea. “How about this,” he started slowly.

“If I tell you which school Ranboo goes to,” Tommy’s grin grew wider, “you give me _drugs,”_ he whispered the last bit.

Quackity groaned into his hands, “God damn it, dude. Even if I _did_ have drugs- _which I don’t,”_ he wagged a finger at Tommy, “I’d never give them to you. You’re brothers would _actually_ skin me alive and burn my remains,” he pointed out.

Tommy shrugged, “Sounds like a you problem, _bruv-”_

The shrill warning bell cut him off and Tommy started walking off again. _“Bye~_ better get to class big Q!” Tommy shouted back in a sing-song voice before disappearing around the corner.

Well that was a waste of time.

\---

  
  


**OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Ducktective: Bad news**

**Ducktective: Tommy still thinks im a fucking drug dealer**

**Spynap: Arent you???**

**Ducktective: DUDE**

**Ducktective’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Drugdealer**

**Drugdealer: this is harassment**

**Drugdealer: at least get it right**

**Drugdealer’s** ** _name has been changed to_** **Duckdealer**

**Ringleader: and the good news?**

**Duckdealer: what**

**Duckdealer: oh there is none**

**Duckdealer: all he did was make fun of me for not knowing**

**Ringleader: Darn it**

**Ringleader: That means we need another plan**

**Spynap: Teach is gonna fail my ass if he sees me on my phone again**

**Spynap: can we tlak about it later**

**Ringleader: okay**

**Ringleader: that just gives me more time to plan**

**Duckdealer: aye**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been scammed by my own fic sadge
> 
> I was expecting to write mainly Ranboo and sbi, as those are the people I'm the most comfortable with writing. So how the hell did I end up with a Quackity, Karl, and Sapnap centric chapter, LUL.
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you thought in the comments, I'm always happy to hear from you guys!
> 
> Oh yeah, and if you guys know any common words or sayings that Quackity, Sapnap, or Karl use frequently, would you mind bestowing your wisdom upon me? I'm afraid I don't watch them enough to have their speech patterns down, so any advice would be appreciated.


	3. School? More like Sleep Deprivation, Amirite lads?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL Devises yet another devious plan to figure Ranboo out. Will they succeed???
> 
> (Lets be honest probably not-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I'm on a bit of a roll with this fic if I do say so myself.
> 
> We get some more people introduced in this one, so have fun with that :)
> 
> TW: Bullying

**OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Ringleader: IVE DEVISED ANOTHER GENIUS PLAN**

**Spynap: yeah?**

**Duckdealer: GIVE US THE PLAN HOT MAN**

**Ringleader: OKAY**

**Ringleader: Since asking him didnt work**

**Ringleader: and tommys not cracking either**

**Ringleader: the only other option is…**

**Ringleader: Ahem, drumroll please?**

**Ducktective: DUDUDUDU**

**Spynap: ba dum-tss?**

**Ringleader: PASSABLE**

**Ringleader: WE MUST EARN RANBOOS TRUST**

**Ringleader: BY BECOMING HIS FRIENDS**

**Duckdealer: EZ MODE**

**Spynap: why the hell didn’t we start with that???**

**Spynap: guys?**

\---

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Tubbee: i jsut told shcaltt abiiut how ive been feeding the racconns all our cracker s becasue they remind me of tommy**

**TheMuffiner: You cant feed raccoons! They’ll just keep coming back! >:O**

**Tubbee: yeah yeha thas what schlatt told me**

**Tubbee: i dont think hew as very pleased with the amount of bird shit on the back deck lol**

**TheMuffiner: Language**

**TheMuffiner: but also, why was there bird poop?**

**Tubbee: the cracer s attrscked the pigeonjs**

**Tubbee: poop**

**Honkmeister: HEY GUYS**

**Tubbee: HEY KARL :)**

**TheMuffiner: Karl OwO**

**Honkmeister: do you know if Ranboos been in chat recently?**

**TheMuffiner: hmm, I’m not sure I’ve talked to him yet**

**Tubee: MR BOOB BOY?**

**Tubbee: NOPW**

**Tubbee: SORRY KARL D:**

**Honkmeister: ITS FINE**

**Honkmeister: ILL TALK TO HIM AT LUNCHTIME**

**Honkmeister: DID YOU NAME THE RACCOONS YET OR CAN I?**

**Tubbee: YEAH**

**Tubbee: I NAKEMD ONE CHARLESTON** **  
****  
****Tubbee: TERE ARE THEREE THO**

**Tubbee: LEY ME JUDGE YOUR NAMEINF SKILLS**

\---

Light streamed into the hall from the massive windows, displaying the courtyard that sat in the middle of the school. Deceptively calm and relaxing for the amount of inconvenience the area seemed to bring Ranboo.

The central area that was always perfectly lit by natural light made it near impossible to avoid being noticed by someone.

"Where do you think you’re going, _enderfreak?_ You know how this goes," the mongoose hybrid whose name Ranboo had never bothered to remember sneered.

Ranboo bit back a sigh, fruitlessly attempting to pull his wrist from the other teen’s tight grip.

Ah yes, the almost daily occurrence of getting harassed by the same athletic jerkface. Because apparently it’s a crime to be part enderman and want nothing to do with other people.

Ranboo looked down at Mongoose’s shoes. His shoes were just as dirt covered as his personality, how fitting.

“I already told you, I don’t have anything for you,” Ranboo muttered.

The grip on his wrist tightened, “What was that? Look me in the eye and speak up, tallass!” Mongoose barked.

_So sorry, I forgot you were deaf._ Ranboo grit his teeth and met Mongoose’s eyes, hating the way it made his skin crawl and his nails dig into his palms. “I _said,_ I don’t- I don’t have anything for you.” His voice started out strong, but began to crumble under his own anxiety when Mongoose glowered at him.

_“Tch,_ then what’s in that there bag of yours, _huh?”_

“Just homework,” Ranboo bit out immediately, desperate to end the encounter as soon as possible.

Mongoose smiled vindictively, showing off his sharp fangs. “Perfect. I’ll just take that as payment then,” he decided.

Any complaints that tried to come out curled up and died on the tip of his tongue, helpless as his backpack was stolen away from him. Forced to watch the work that he was supposed to hand in be plucked out of his bag, knowing full well he wouldn’t be getting it back later. That the teacher would sigh in palpable disappointment when Ranboo tried to explain later that he lost his homework again.

His already somewhat tattered bag was tossed carelessly to the ground after Mongoose got what he wanted. “Thanks for the help, freak,” Mongoose sneered as he walked off in the direction of the cafeteria.

Ranboo didn’t move, waiting until the sound of footsteps echoing in the halls finally faded away.

“Well, at least he said thanks,” Ranboo sighed, crouching down to retrieve his bag, double checking the contents to check which papers were stolen.

He barely stopped himself from groaning when he realized what had been taken, forcibly zipping his bag shut and slinging it over his shoulder. “Of course it was the history assignment… Why _wouldn’t_ it be the history assignment? You know, the thing that I spent _all week_ working on-” Ranboo dragged his hand down the side of his face. 

“Whatever, I’ll just have to pull an all-nighter and hope I can find ways to word it differently than my first one,” he muttered.

Looking both ways down the hall with ears straining to catch any nearby movement or signs of being followed, Ranboo started heading for the library. It would do him good to have a head start on re-writing his entire essay, maybe it’d even give him enough time to get some actual sleep.

He didn’t even realize his phone was buzzing in his pocket until he was pushing open the glass doors of the school library.

Turning on the phone for a split second was enough to tell him it was just from the group chat he was stuck in. He turned off the alerts on his phone and slipped his phone back into his pocket, he could read the messages later if they were important.

\---

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Honkmeister: Ranboo**

**Honkmeister: hey ranboo its lunch time**

**Honkmeister: hey ranboo**

**Honkmeister: are you here**

**Honkmeister: @Ranboo**

**Honkmeister: I wanted to know what your favourite animal is**

**Honkmeister: hello?**

**Techno: You’re acting like Tommy**

**BIGMAN: EYYYY TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT I AM THE IDEAL MAN**

**Techno: It’s not**

**BIGMAN: YOUR FACE IS UGLY**

**Techno: That has literally nothing to do with this conversation**

**Honkmeister: tommy have you talked to ranboo today?**

**Honkmeister: I wanted to try and get to know him better**

**BIGMAN: NO**

**BIGMAN: YOU THIINK I KEEP TABS ON HIM OR SMTHING?**

**Homeless: Whose Ranboo??**

**BIGMAN: OH GREAT**

**BIGMAN: THE DICKHEAD IS HERE**

**Homeless’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Dre**

**Dre: Techno I’m not fucking homeless**

**Techno: Coulda fooled me**

**BIGMAN: RANBOO IS MY BITCH**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: no he isn’t**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Tommy stop being mean to Ranboo**

**BIGMAN: I AM NOT BEINF MEAN**

**BIGMAN: THAT LABEL IS AN HONOUR**

**Techno: Incorrect.**

**BIGMAN: OH LOOK AT ME MY NAMES TECHNO AND I KNOW BIG WORDS**

**BIGMAN: SHUT UP**

**Dre: So is anyone gonna tell me who Ranboo is**

**Dre: Or should I just come back later after Tommy’s bettime**

**BIGMAN: FUCK YOU**

**BIGMAN: YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Sorry about him Dream, I’m afraid he’s a bit cranky right now**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: I think he needs a nap**

**Dre: It’s fine**

**BIGMAN: THAT IS BULLSHIT**

**BIGMAN: I DONT NEED SLEEP**

**BIGMAN: IM JUST TOO HUGE FOR SLEEP**

**BIGMAN: BITCH**

**BIGMAN’s** ** _name has been changed to_** **Cranky**

**Cranky: IM NOT FUCKINF CRAKNY**

**Cranky’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **BIGGESTMAN**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Where are you rn?**

**BIGGESTMAN: TREE**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: omw**

**BIGGESTMAN: FCUK OFF DICKHEAD**

**BIGGESTMAN: WILBITCH**

**Dre: Okay, so Ranboo is friends with Tommy??**

**Dre: Are they similar, or…**

**Honkmeister: dont know because i havent gotten to talk to him yet :(**

**Techno: Nah, he’s chill**

**Techno: Just antisocial**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: I’ve temporarily confiscated the child’s phone**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Yeah, Ranboo’s skittish, but he seems like a good kid**

**Dre’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Homeless**

**Homeless: TECHNO**

**Techno: Whoops, my hand slipped**

**Techno’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Mean**

**Mean: Everyone’s always talking about how smart you are**

**Mean: Yet this is the best you can come up with**

**Homeless: at least I dont reuse the same joke over and over again**

**Mean: HA**

**Mean: HES BABYRAGING EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGH**

**Honkmeister: LMAO**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: Ha what a fuckn loser**

**Quack: L**

**Sap: L**

**Homeless: SAPNAP D:**

**Sap: thats what you get for not sharing your gummy worms**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: GUYS**

**Honkmeister: WHAT**

**Quack: WHATS WRONG?**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: <Attached is a picture of Tommy leaning against the shoulder of the photographer, eyes closed and looking more peaceful than he ever has while awake>**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: look at him! He fell asleep on me!**

**Quack: I wasn’t aware the little devil was capable of silence**

**DirtyCrimeBoy: asdkfkhfk look at my sleepy little gremlin brother!**

**Mean: Oh my god, I can hear your baby voice through the text**

**Quack: PFFF TRUE**

**DirtyCrimeBoy’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Sappy**

**Sappy: fair**

**Sap: are you coming for my naming brand rn?**

**Homeless: Don’t worry, I got this**

**Sap’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Pandas**

**Pandas: my names still sapnap**

**Mean: What was that nickname Tommy called you last night?**

**Mean: Wait I remember what it was**

**Sappy’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Wilby**

**Honkmeister: I cant tell if this is bullying or not**

**Mean: It’s out of love**

**Homeless: ^^^**

**Wilby: not the worst naem ive been stuck with**

**Wilby: it is hard to type with the child sleeping on me**

**Wilby: so i will be taking my leave now**

**Homeless: See ya**

**Mean: Byeeee**

**Honkmeister: BYEE**

\---

Ranboo stumbled onto the school grounds with his backpack held protectively in his arms and his tail flicking in thinly veiled irritation behind him.

He did not care if _god himself_ descended from the heavens and demanded that he needed to take his backpack to save the world. The world could burn for all he cared, no one was going to take the history assignment he had been working on since five minutes before he left the orphanage. And Ranboo was one hundred percent willing to draw _blood_ to defend it by this point.

Apparently people could sense his bad mood, because no one dared to bother him as he stalked to his classroom.

He counted himself lucky that he was the first one there, falling down into his seat and resting his head on his bag with a tired sigh.

Wait- wasn’t he going to check up on the group chat after he was done working?

The ender hybrid took out his phone, unlocking it with his eyes closed.

It took him several seconds to finally scrape together the strength to pry them open again, squinting at the screen.

He scrolled through the older messages, only half paying attention to the conversations.

Though he had to admit, he was somewhat curious about who the heck this _‘Dre’_ guy was. It was probably someone from another school or something.

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**ranboo: heyy**

**ranboo: srry iw asnt online yseterdya**

**ranboo: had o redwq a paper**

Proper spelling be damned, maybe he’d stress about it later- but for the time being, Ranboo was too exhausted to care.

**ManlyMan: Yeesh how many hours you get?**

**ranboo: of dleep?**

**ManlyMan: yeah**

**ranboo: xeero**

**ManlyMan: wait zero?**

**ranboo: mhmm**

**Manlyman: dang**

**ranboo: dagn**

**ManlyMan: welp, gl with surviving today bucko**

**ranboo: htanks**

**Honkmeister: WIAT YOURE ON NOW**

**ranboo: no**

**ManlyMan: HA, I like this one**

**Honkmeister: IMPORTANT QUESTION**

**ranboo: m**

**Honkmeister: WJATS YOUR FAVOURITE ANIMAL**

**ranboo: caypybarras r nicde**

**Honkmeister: alright, those are pretty cool animals**

**ManlyMan: oh hell yeah dude, capybaras are just chillin**

**TheMuffiner: Goodmorning everyone! It’s nice to finally meet you Ranboo o/**

**TheMuffiner: My name’s Bad btw**

**ManlyMan: I’m Finn**

**Honkmeister: and im Karl!**

**ranboo: im rnaboo**

**Honkmeister: HI RANBOO :D**

**Manlyman: Nice to meet you Rnaboo**

**ranboo: thank**

**TheMuffiner: Are you sure you should be at school right now? >:O**

**TheMuffiner: Its important to get enough sleep every night >_<**

**ranboo: tell thta to teh jerk who stole my hw**

**Honkmeister: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR WORK?**

**Honkmeister: WHO THE HONK?!**

**ranboo: idk man, a guy**

**ranboo: samw guy as usaul**

**ManlyMan: USUAL**

**ManlyMan: BRUH**

**ranboo: mehh**

**TheMuffiner: Have you told a teacher yet?**

Ranboo groaned into his backpack, talking in this group chat was a mistake.

**ranboo: I’ll tell tjem whenever class statrs**

He lied.

Telling a teacher would be a complete mistake- _is_ a complete mistake.

All it ever got Ranboo was a stern lecture (directed at _him)_ from the teacher, and worse treatment from his peers for being a freak _and_ a snitch.

**TheMuffiner: Good. They cant get away with doing that >:l**

**ManlyMan: yeah, kick him in the nuts next time he tries that shit**

**TheMuffiner: Language**

Students began to shuffle into the classroom to take their seats, Ranboo made sure to curl his tail around his leg, eyeing them warily through his black and white bangs.

**ranboo: class strting soonn**

**ranboo: bywe**

**Honkmeister: BYE NICE TALKING TO YOU :D** ****  
  


**ManlyMan: ciao! Dont die out there LOL**

**TheMuffiner: bye! Remember to talk to your teacher!**

**ranboo: I will**

He won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaha, I got stuck for 3 goddamn hours on that scene where Mongoose was harassing Ranboo. Purely because Finn tried to show up in all his crossdressing glory to save the day. So I was hella conflicted about that for way too fuckn long, but I ultimately decided against it, because that would fuck up the pacing of a lot of things, rip.
> 
> I'm having a lot of fun with this fic though, so that's pretty Poggers smile.


	4. A New Challenger Is Approaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur remembers that weekends are a thing and proceeds to have a lovely chat with Dre and Ranboo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I'm almost surprised at how consistently I've been updating this. It's technically not daily because it's always past midnight whenever I end up posting, but you know what? If I haven't gone to bed yet, it may as well still be the same day to me.

Wilbur woke up slowly, blindly snagging his phone off the bedside table and turning it on.

_10:36 AM._

_Jesus fuck-_ Why didn’t anyone wake him up? He was _beyond_ late for school!

_Saturday._

Okay yeah, that made sense.

He _could_ just go back to sleep, he was still drowsy enough to do so. But he also had a hunch that he’d absolutely hate himself for it later when it obliterated his already shaky sleep schedule.

But he also just… Didn’t want to get out of bed quite yet.

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Wilby: Ayup**

**Wilby: What’s everyone up to today?**

**ranboo: hi wilbur**

**Wilby: Hello Ranboo! I hope you got some sleep last night**

**ranboo: eh I got eough**

**ranboo: I got no plans for today**

**ranboo: other than maybe study but i dont have rhe brain poewr for that right now**

**Wilby: Understandable**

**Homeless: Goodmorning, nice to finally meet you Ranboo**

**Homeless: I forgot this was still my dn**

**Homeless’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Dre**

**Dre: much better**

**ranboo: nice to meet you too**

**Dre: are you ever gonna change your name? Or are you going to keep acting like techno**

**ranboo: oh i can change it if you want**

**Wilby: wait wait, I got a good one for you**

**ranboo: okie**

**ranboo’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Ranigma**

**Wilby: Because I hear people are always trying to figure you out**

**Ranigma: its a play on my name…**

**Ranigma: i like that**

**Dre: an enigma you say?**

**Dre: I bet I could figure you out**

Wilbur frowned, worried for a moment that Ranboo would get scared off. He was already starting to type out a response to Dream when the kid beat him to it.

**Ranigma: Bet**

**Dre: :)**

**Ranigma: a**

**Ranigma: I think a chill just went down my spine**

**Wilby: I recommend you back out while you still have the chance Ranboo**

**Ranigma: no i know what i said**

**Raningma: maybe its just thw sleep deprivation tlaking**

**Ranigma: but im feeling confindanr in my ability to remain more or less anonymous**

**Wilby: I thought you said you got enough sleep**

**Ranigma: I did!**

**Ranigma: i got like**

**Ranigma: a whole six hours**

**Ranigma: thats enough for me**

**Dre: Insomnia?**

**Ranigma: Something along those line s yeah**

**Tubbee: Becca ate my waffles :(**

**Wilby: who tf is Becca??**

**Tubbee: Reeccathy Schneifer the third**

**Tubbee: one of hte raccoons ive been feeding crakcers**

**Ranigma: L**

**Tubbee: dont make me sgeal your kneecaps big guy**

**Tubbee: bexasu I will**

**Ranigma: noted**

**Dre: so, mr enigma**

**Ranigma: thats me**

**Ranigma: first name ranboo last name enigma**

**Dre: right**

**Dre: what’s your favourite restaurant?**

**Ranigma: hwy do uo wanna know**

**Dre: you can tell a lot about a person by their favourite fast food**

**Ranigma: i doubt it but**

**Ranigma: idk i dont really eat out at all**

**Ranigma: I had taco bell a few times and i liked that**

**Dre: interesting**

**Ranigma: How??? Its literally just taco bell**

**Dre: and that is valuable information**

**Tubbee: guyh i hing i jus tkille d a squirrel**

**Wilby: Tubbo**

**Dre: wait how**

**Dre: can you send a pic**

**Tubbee: sure**

**Ranigma: UH PLEASE DONT**

**Ranigma: please do not send a picture od a dead thing in chat**

**Tubbee: okay jeez**

**Tubbee: relax new guy its just a dead thing**

**Wilby: are you sure its dead?**

**Tubbee: maybe????**

**Tubbee: its on mey lao and its eys are closed**

**Tubbee: OH**

**Tubbee: OH WAIT**

**Tubbee: ITS NOT DEAD**

**Tubbee: IT FELL ALSEEP ON ME** ****  
  


**Tubbee: I CNA FEEL ITS HEARTBEAT**

**Dre: oh**

**Ranigma: oh than k goodness**

**Tubbee: SHOULDE I KILL IT ANYWAYS?**

**Ranigma: nO**

**Wilby: Tubbo, dont make me call Schlatt**

**Wilby: Because I will**

**Tubbee: I WASS JOKING**

**Tubbee: Also you cant callt schallt because ill jut call tommy an than we both have to deal wiht siblings**

**Tubbee: so there**

**BIGGESTMAN: YOU CALLED**

**Wilby: oh gods you summoned him**

**Dre: how long were you waiting for someone to mention you**

**Dre’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **BITCHBOY**

**BITCHBOY: I see, it’s been a little while then**

**BITCHBOY’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Dre**

**BIGGESTMAN: you suck and you are the worst and i hate you very much**

**Dre: no you dont**

**Ranigma: hello tommy**

**BIGGESTMAN: ello boob boy**

**Ranigma: that is still not my name**

**BIGGESTMAN: ugh hello ranBOO**

**Ranigma: wow i wasnt actually expecting you to call me by my name**

**BIGGESTMAN: OK RANBOOB**

**Ranigma: alright i walked right into that one**

**Tubbee: whya is your name ranboob**

**Ranigma: its not**

**Ranigma: its really really not**

**Tubbee: coulda fooled me**

**Tubbee: If you say so**

**Tubbee: tomy facetime?**

**Tubbee: i awanna show you the squirel**

**BIGGESTMAN: DONT GET ALL CLINGY ON ME NOW**

**Wilby: and they’re gone**

**Wilby: finally**

**Dre: so Ranboo**

**Dre: opinion on dodgeball**

**Dre: Ranboo?**

**Dre: you there?**

**Wilby: Ranboo?**

**Ranigma: aorry**

**Ranigma: gtg**

**Dre: later**

**Wilby: take care**

**Wilby: So**

**Wilby: What didya think of him?**

**Dre: he seems interesting**

**Dre: I’d like to chat with him more when I get the chance**

**Honkmeister: WAIT**

**Honkmeister: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME RANBOO WAS HERE**

**Dre: what**

**Wilby: oh no, it must have slipped my mind**

**Honkmeister: im on an epic quest to befriend our beloved Ranboo**

**Honkmeister: to get to know him better**

**Dre: oh, what do you know**

**Dre: it seems we have similar goals**

**Honkmeister: wiat really?**

**Wilby: check the earlier messages**

**Honkmeister: I see**

**Honkmeister: Im afraid we’re now mortal enemies**

**Dre: What???**

**Dre: Why??**

**Honkmeister: Just because**

**Honkmeister: think of the DRAMA**

**Honkmeister: the THRILL**

**Honkmeister: OF COMPETING TO BECOME OUR BELOVED RANBOOS BEST FRIEND**

**Dre: well in that case**

**Dre’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **Speedrunner**

**Speedrunner: I accept your challenge**

**Speedrunner: May the best friend win**

**Honkmeister: And I will**

**Speedrunner: We’ll see**

**Wilby: Can I just come out and say that this is a terrible fucking idea**

**Wilby: I know Tommy will never admit to it, but he will actively work to make your lives a living hell if you wind up hurting Ranboo**

**Wilby: so tread lightly with this game of yours**

**Speedrunner: Don’t worry about it Wilbur, I won’t cross any lines**

**Honkmeister: Same here. Cross my heart and hope to die**

**Honkmeister: I honestly want to be friends with him**

**Wilby: Alright, just making sure**

**Wilby: Carry on then, lads**

**Wilby: I’m gonna go get me some breakfast**

**Honkmeister: GOODBYE!**

**Speedrunner: Bye!**

\---

An amused chuckle and smile found its way on Ranboo lips as Tommy and Tubbo made jokes at the expense of his name. It was probably the most relaxed he’d ever felt while at the orphanage.

Despite him complaining about it, the nicknames felt more endearing than offensive. He was just glad he wasn’t being referred to as some kind of freak or ostracized for his height.

He saw Dre address him again, and as he started to type out a response, someone bumped into him and his hand was _burning._

Ranboo jolted back with a strangled yelp, dropping his phone in the process. It was an unfortunately familiar feeling. As if someone had dumped acid over his hand, it both stung like hell and made him want to tear the skin away as if that would somehow stop the pain

He frantically wiped the water off on his pant leg, teeth clenched to muffle the distressed gurgling that wanted to escape him.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going! You forgive me, right?” The kid who spilled water on him did an impressive job at acting distressed and regretful, not that Ranboo would call him out on the miniscule upward twitch of his lip.

Ranboo hissed out a pained breath as he rubbed almost obsessively at his hand, desperate to get rid of the painful itch that clung to his skin even after the water had been dried up.

_“Yeah._ All good,” he assured through gritted teeth.

The kid pat his shoulder briefly, almost immediately brushing his hands off afterwards. “Awesome. You should probably go see miss Puffy for that,” he advised before trotting away, humming a pleasant tune.

Ranboo inspected his hand, wincing at the new water burns stretching across his skin. Did it really have to be on his dominant hand too?

He knelt down to retrieve his phone, diligently drying it off with his sleeve before typing out a quick goodbye.

And now it was time to find Puffy, as she was the one with the medkit that he very much needed if he didn’t want to end up with scars and coarse fur.

\---

**OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL**

**Ringleader: IT SEEMS WE HAVE A NEW CHALLENGER**

**Duckdealer: OH???**

**Ringleader: SAPNAP, YOU BEAUTIFUL HUNK OF MAN**

**Ringleader: IM AFRAID OUR ENEMY IS YOUR DEAR FRIEND**

**Ringleader: DREAM**

**Spynap: HA**

**Spynap: LETS WHOOP HIS ASS**

**Duckdealer: HELL YEAH MAN**

**Duckdealer: HE DOESNT STAND A CHANCE**

**Ringleader: HE MAY THINK HES A SPEEDRUNNER**

**Ringleader: BUT HELL NEVER BEAT THE COMBINE D POWER OF OUR FRIENDSHIP**

**Duckdealer: WOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**Spynap: Yeah LETS DO THIS**

**Duckdealer: GAME ON GREEN MAN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me ages to figure this one out. Purely because I had this weird hunch that the majority had to be from someone elses POV for it to work. But then I still couldn't figure it out...
> 
> And then I realized it was canonically a SATURDAY. The reason for it being a Saturday is actually because Ranboo had to hand in his history assignment the day before, and it's common for project/assignment due dates to be later on in the week.
> 
> It was much easier to write after I came to the conclusion that it was the weekend, lol. 
> 
> See you later!


	5. The Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woopsie daisies. While I don't technically have an upload schedule, it is kind of nice to upload every night.
> 
> But oh well, I was tired and busy with other things last night, so I didn't really have the time to write a new chapter, rip.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Ranboo** ** _has been added to_** **MASSIVE MEN GC**

**BIGINNIT: WELCOME TO THE SUPERIOR GROUP CHAT BITCHBOY**

**Ranboo: are you seroius**

**Ranboo: wasnt one enough**

**Toob: RELAX BIG GUY**

**Toob: ITS JSUT US TRHEE**

**BIGINNIT: YEAH**

**BIGINNIT: AND THE FIRST RULE OF RHE CHAT IS RO NOT HAVE A SHIT NAME**

**Toob: YEAH YEAH CHANGE YOUR USER BOOBOY**

**Ranboo: to what**

**Toob: whatevers morst intrestin**

**Ranboo: uhhh**

**Ranboo’s** **_name has been changed to_ ** **tiredboo**

**Toob: not otoo tiref to go to the park i hope**

**tiredboo: park?**

**Toob: YEAH**

**BIGINNIT: the one we met at**

**tiredboo: oh yeah i think i rememver whrere youre talking about**

**BIGINNIT: GOOD GOOD**

**BIGINNIT: SO DO YOU WANT TO COME HANG OUT???**

**tiredboo: uh, suer i guess so**

**Toob: oh lovelyy**

**Toob: meet us there ay 3 smile**

**tiredboo: okie**

\---

Ranboo shoved his hands into the pockets of his oversized hoodie, gazing out at the rest of the park from where he sat on the swingset. His legs kicked idly at the sand underneath his feet and watching it form a small pile.

He accidentally left the orphanage a little early, but he didn’t find himself minding all that much. It was nice to have a moment of silence to himself, letting his mind wander and bounce between random thoughts and topics.

He took his right hand out of his pocket and stared at the white bandages wrapped expertly around it, contrasting heavily with the exposed black fur of his fingers. It was hard to open and close his hand at the moment, the movements often resulting in a shock of pain through the back of his hand.

“Ranboo!”

The ender hybrid jolted at the unexpected noise, losing balance and falling backwards into the sand with a dull _thud._

He blinked disorientedly up at Tommy and a short teen with goat horns and ears poking out of brown hair.

Tommy extended a hand out to him, and Ranboo hesitantly grabbed it, wincing at the uneven pressure being applied to his burns.

  
  


Ranboo was pulled to his feet and then had his hand immediately taken into a significantly gentler hold. Tommy frowned down at the bandages, eyes narrowed and sharp.

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” He demanded.

Ranboo shrugged, taking his hand back and hiding it in his sweater pocket once again. “Uh, you know, just a water burn. It’s really not that bad,” he insisted.

Tommy was still frowning, “How tall were they? I bet you could beat them up- I bet _I_ could beat them up for you. Stupid bastards wouldn’t stand a chance if I got my hands on them,” he scoffed, his tail lashing and fur puffed up.

“Eh, there’s really not much I can do about it. I don’t even blame him- I mean, if they’re always seeing the other kids push me around, it’s only natural that they mimic the behaviour to fit in, right?” Ranboo pointed out sadly.

Tubbo crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, but that doesn’t exactly make it okay, big guy.”

A quiet sigh escaped Ranboo’s lips, “Oh, I know… But what am I going to do? We’re all stuck in the same orphanage, and there’s only so much miss Puffy and the other caretakers can do. They’re just scared kids lashing out on whatever’s nearest, even if that just so happens to be me,” he tried to explain.

Tommy went silent, glaring down at his feet and kicking the sand.

“But…” Tubbo trailed off, looking uncertain.

Ranboo waved his hand as if clearing the air, “Here, why don’t we change the topic? We came here to hang out and have fun, not talk about the things out of our control,” he suggested.

A few more seconds passed in reluctant quiet before Tubbo suddenly straightened up, determination flashing across his expression for a brief moment.

“You know, I reckon you could crush me underfoot if you wanted to,” he guessed, tapping his chin.

Ranboo nearly snorted, covering his mouth to hide his abrupt laughter. _“What?”_

The small goat hybrid grinned and nodded, “Yeah! You’d just be going about your day and then, _‘oops, there goes Tubbo’!_ Y’know, because you’re like… Fifty feet tall,” he elaborated simply.

Ranboo failed to squash his smile, “Oh, come on, I’m only six six,” he said with mock-exasperation.

“Hmm… _Nope,_ I’m afraid I will have to steal your kneecaps now, just to even the playing field,” Tubbo decided, hands on his hips.

Ranboo cracked his knuckles, “Not if I steal yours first!” He threatened jokingly.

Ranboo paused, suddenly remembering Tommy.

He turned his head to see the raccoon hybrid watching him with an expression he didn’t understand. It looked vaguely pained, as well as like he was on the verge of saying something, but physically couldn’t.

“Tommy?” Ranboo prodded gently, ear twitching.

The teen didn’t answer for a few seconds, looking away and clenching his jaw.

“Ranboo, you-” Tommy cut himself off with a quiet almost-growl.

Ranboo waited patiently for his friend to find the right words.

Tommy brought his gaze back to Ranboo, though he didn’t try to look the other in the eyes. “Look, just- if you ever need a place to stay, you can call us, alright? Don’t put up with that kind of bullshit, got it?”

Warmth swelled in Ranboo’s chest, blinking firmly to fight off the slight sting gathering in his eyes. He made eye contact with Tommy for a few seconds, “Thank you, Tommy. I… I really appreciate it,” he said genuinely with a small sniffling inhale.

Tommy nodded, and then, like a switch had been flipped, his chin tilted up defiantly and the light of mischief returned to his eyes. “If Tubbo and I combine our height together, we would be _twice_ your size-” he started.

“And then we could steal your kneecaps!” Tubbo finished with wide eyed excitement.

Ranboo shook his head incredulously, “Why do you want my kneecaps so bad?” He asked with an amused huff.

Tubbo didn’t answer him, instead gasping and clapping his hands together. “Oh! We could also steal your _organs_ and fleshy bits to sell on the black market!” He exclaimed.

Ranboo choked on his laughter, covering his mouth again.

Tommy nodded along with Tubbo, “Mmmm… Do you know how many _drugs_ we could buy with that money, Tubbo? _Holy fuck-_ I will be so incredibly popular with the ladies when they see me and my vast amounts of illegal drugs-” Tommy suddenly stopped and looked at Ranboo.

“Boob boy, I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to hand over those kneecaps. It is just oh so _incredibly_ important that we confiscate those from you,” Tommy informed him, appearing completely serious aside from the playful glimmer in his eye and flicking of his tail.

Ranboo shook his head, gasping for breath through his laughter.

Tommy and Tubbo exchanged glances and nodded to each other.

Tommy crouched down and Tubbo immediately clambered onto the other’s back. 

“Get ready Ranboo, you’re not getting out of this with those kneecaps of yours,” Tubbo warned as Tommy stood up.

Ranboo grinned at them, tail swinging behind him, “You’ll have to catch me first!” He yelled as he made a mad dash for the playground.

His chest was impossibly light when he heard the teens chasing after him, both shouting and giggling about his kneecaps.

\---

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Fungy: oh my god**

**Fungy: I just spilled fucking coffee all over my keyboard**

**Wilby: Oh shit dude, is it broken?**

**Fungy: uhhhhh**

**Fungy: FUCC**

**Fungy: THIS IS BULLSHIT!!**

**Wilby: Man.**

**Speedrunner: How did that happen?**

**Fungy: I was just being a fucking idiot**

**Fungy: accidentluy bumped it with my elbow**

**Speedrunner: ah, that sucks**

**Speedrunner: Do you have any extra keyboards?**

**Fungy: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh**

**Wilby: I’m assuming that’s a no**

**Fungy: yeah, that was my only keyboard :(**

**Wilby: damn :(**

**Speedrunner: do you want me to get you a new one?**

**Fungy: really???**

**Speedrunner: yeah, I mean, you kind of need a keyboard for half of the things that you do**

**Fungy: THANK YOU :D**

**Fungy: WAIT**

**Fungy: IS THERE A CATSH TO THIS?**

**Speedrunner: hmm**

**Speedrunner: no**

**Speedrunner: unless you want to owe me a favour or something?**

**Fungy: NOPE**

**Fungy: no strings attached is fine :)**

**Speedrunner: cool**

**Speedrunner: It’ll be in sometime this week**

**Fungy: YAY THANK YOU :D**

**Speedrunner: np**

**Speedrunner: just make sure not to spill coffee on this one lol**

**Fungy: OF COURSE!!**

**Honkmeister: HELLO EVERYONE!!**

**Fungy: HI KARLLL**

**Wilby: hey Karl**

**Speedrunner: hello**

**Honkmeister: so hows everyone doing today?**

**Fungy: debatable**

**Speedrunner: good**

**Wilby: the child is out of the house**

**Wilby: life in quiet is good**

**Honkmeister: hes out? What for??**

**Wilby: pretty sure he’s going to hang out with Tubbo and Ranboo**

**Honkmeister: Tubbo gets to meet Ranboo?**

**Wilby: I mean, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Ranboo hadn’t at the very least heard of Tubbo before all this, Tommy tends to go on tangents**

**Honkmeister: TRUE**

**Wilby: so what have you been up to Karl?**

**Honkmeister: I’m glad you asked**

**Wilby: oh?**

**Honkmeister: IVE been learning how to make FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS**

**Wilby: oh, that’s awesome bro**

**Honkmeister: YEAH**

**Honkmeister: and then I can make ranboo a friendship bracelet**

**Honkmeister: ill probably have to go through tommy to get it to him**

**Honkmeister: but it will be worth it!!!**

**Wilby: I’m sure he’d love that**

**Honkmeister: I hope so**

**Honkmeister: hmm, I shpuld probably ask what his favourite colours are…**

**Wilby: have fun with all that**

**Wilby: I best be off now though, see ya!**

**Honkmeister: I WILL BYEEEE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I maybe could have made this longer, but at the same time, I'm still pretty sleepy rn, so this'll have to do.
> 
> I'm just patiently waiting until I'm able to build up to the plot points that have been in my mind since the beginning (though who knows how long that'll take, lol)


	6. I Don't Mean to Alarm You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some conversations are had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha, I may or may not have gotten sucked back into Stardew Valley. I already had 150-ish hours, but now I really want to get to 200 hours and I'm already at 170 hours. So apologies if I happen to take a little longer with writing, lol.
> 
> Probably gonna do a quick re-read of this chapter tomorrow for editing- but until then, it's dangerous to go alone, take this!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Ranboo sat in a mildly uncomfortable chair, picking absently at small grooves in the wooden desk between him and Puffy.

He wasn’t sure what was happening, why was he called into the office?

Did he do something wrong? Maybe someone pinned the blame for something onto him?

Regardless of the reasoning, it made his heart beat at a rapid pace and his mouth go dry. His palms stung slightly with the sweat that he continued to wipe off on his pant legs.

Puffy’s gentle voice broke through his gathering anxiety, “Calm down Ranboo, you aren’t in trouble, okay?” She reassured him.

Ranboo swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat and gave her a curt nod and hum in acknowledgment.

“I just wanted to talk to you about something, I promise you it’s nothing bad… Are you alright if I continue?” Puffy asked.

He took a deep breath to recompose himself, subtly digging his nails into the table and nodding again.

He could see her smile reassuringly at him from the edge of his vision before opening her mouth and getting to the point.

“Now, I know you’re only fourteen, you’re still a kid- but I want to make sure you’re prepared for the future,” She started slowly.

Ranboo felt his ears flick and tail twitch in a subdued display of curiosity.

Puffy was quick to continue, “Whenever you turn eighteen, that’s when you, unfortunately, won’t be able to stay here any longer. And now I  _ know _ that four years might seem like a pretty long time- but I  _ really _ want you the best for you… Which is why I’m bringing this up now,” she paused for a moment.

“You don’t have to do it now- but I thought it would be best for you to start thinking about getting a job. I know it sucks- you’re a  _ kid, _ you shouldn’t have to worry about getting a job and saving up money yet… But I just want the best for you, so I figured I’d talk to you about it now to give you some more time to get used to the idea,” Puffy explained, sounding apologetic.

Ranboo blinked a few times, staring blankly at the table as he went over the words in his head. Puffy just wanted him to… Consider getting a job?

“I- yeah, I mean-” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah, of course, that definitely sounds like something I should start working on,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle.

Puffy reached over the desk to clasp her hands over his own, gently rubbing his knuckles. “Again, I really don’t want you to stress about this kind of thing yet- so make sure to still act like a kid while you have the chance, alright sweetie?”

Ranboo exhaled a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding in, taking comfort in the small amount of warmth seeping into his hands from the contact. “Alright,” he agreed quietly.

He felt her fingers twitch as if she wanted to give his hands a quick squeeze like she normally would, but refrained and pulled away with a strained smile as she looked at the bandages covering his dominant hand.

Puffy suddenly got up out of her chair and stretched,  _ “Whew! _ Sorry for stressing you out there! why don’t we get you all ready for school, okay?” She suggested, giving Ranboo a gentle pat on the head.

“Yeah, sounds good miss Puffy.”

\---

**INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O**

**Skep: can anyone help em with my nmat h homewotk**

**Skep: im ereally really bad at itt**

**TheMuffiner: OwO??**

**TheMuffiner: What’s confusing you?**

**Skep: evterything!!**

**Skep: math is dumgh**

**TheMuffiner: just send a screenshot and I’ll see what I can help you with :D**

**Skep: <Enclosed is a poorly lit picture of a sheet of paper with several math questions, all of which have illegible attempts at solving them scratched out and partially erased underneath>**

**TheMuffiner: OH! I’m pretty sure I remember learning that muffiny stuff whenever I was in your grade**

**TheMuffiner: It’s a little complicated at first, but I believe in you Skeppy!! >:D**

**Skep: do oyu realy?**

**TheMuffiner: Of course I do!!**

**TheMuffiner: I just have to go find my old notes**

**BIGGESTMAN: what the fuck**

**BIGGESTMAN: why are you oing MATH in the gc**

**TheMuffiner: Language**

**BIGGESTMAN: FUCK**

**TheMuffiner: LANGUAGE TOMMY >:O**

**BIGGESTMAN: FUCK YOU BITCH STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME**

**TheMuffiner: IM NOT!!!**

**TheMuffiner: I would just rather you not swear around me**

**BIGGESTMAN: YEAH?? AND I FIND IT OFFENSIVE THAT YOU WONT LET ME SAY FUCK AND SHIT AND PUSSY**

**TheMuffiner: AAAAA LANGUAGE!!!**

**BIGGESTMAN: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK**

**Skep: HHEY! SOPT USPETTING BAD**

**BIGGESTMAN: I AM JUST BEING MYSELF**

**BIGGESTMAN: STOP TRYIIBFG TO CHANGE WHO I AM**

**BIGGESTMAN: BIYC+H**

**TheMuffiner: I’M NOT!! D:**

**BIGGESTMAN: OH YEAH?**

**BIGGESTMAN: THAN YOU WONT MIND IF I SAY THAT I FUCKING HATE MATH AND ALSO YOU BAD ARE A BIT OF PUSSY**

**TheMuffiner: TOMMY**

**BIGGESTMAN: WHAT??**

**BIGGESTMAN: I AM JUST SPEAKING MY MINF**

**BIGGESTMAN: FREE SPEECH BITCH**

**Skep: TOMMY STOP FUCKING SWEARING AT BAD**

**TheMuffiner: LANGUAGE!!!! BOTH OF YOU**

**Skep: soryr bad just leave the chat ill clal you in a bit**

**TheMuffiner: okay :(**

**Skep: Tommy**

**BIGGESTMAN: yeah**

**BIGGESTMAN: ?**

**Skep: wtch your fucking languag e aruhnf bad**

**Skep: ok kid**

**BIGGESTMAN: IM NOT A FUCKINF KID**

**BIGGESTMAN: BITCH**

**BIGGESTMAN: SKEPPY**

**Ranigma: I think he’s aready gone**

**BIGGESTMAN: oh hello ranboob**

**Ranigma: Hi Tommy**

**ManlyMan: Sup**

**ManlyMan: guess who can’t fucking walk rn**

**Ranigma: are you okay? Did you hurt your foot**

**ManlyMan: nope**

**ManlyMan: I am currently wearing six inch heels though**

**BIGGESTMAN: Why the fuck are you wearing heels**

**ManlyMan: lost a bet with one of my female friends**

**ManlyMan: I agreed to dress up as a girl**

**ManlyMan: I look super fucking hot though**

**Ranigma: well, good for you I guess??**

**Quack: youre dressed up as a girl?**

**ManlyMan: yeah**

**Quack: you should send a pic**

**ManlyMan: oh hell yeah I will dude**

**ManlyMan: <Enclosed is a picture of what looks like a girl in a dress and standing stiffly with heels, holding up a peace sign to the camera>**

**Quack: YOOOO**

**Quack: I BARELY EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU**

**ManlyMan: I KNOW RIGHT??**

**ManlyMan: I LOOK LIKE A REAL WHAMEN**

**Quack: WAIT**

**Quack: HOW DID YOU MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE REAL BOBS?**

**BIGGESTMAN: ALRIGFT RANBOO**

**BIGGESTMAN: TIME TO FUCK OFF BECAUSE WE ARE MINORS WHO DO NOT WANT TO KNOW**

**Ranigma: AGREED**

**ManlyMan: LOL**

**ManlyMan: SEE YA**

\---

Ranboo scrolled through his phone in search of nearby jobs he could potentially try out, stubbornly keeping his eyes open despite the exhaustion that was seeping into his bones.

He knew Puffy was quite adamant on the opinion that Ranboo should try to have fun and be a kid for as long as he could. But she raised a good point- he couldn’t expect people to hold his hand and provide him with at least the basic necessities whenever he turned eighteen.

It would be foolish of him  _ not _ to start looking for a job as soon as possible, it was never too early to start saving up. If he could get a part-time job somewhere and didn’t spend any of his money, he would be much better off in the long run.

He just needed a minimum wage job that was okay with the fact that he was a student, preferably one that didn’t require direct and constant contact with other people. He wasn’t sure he would survive being at the front desk of some store or fast food place. The number of eyes tracking and watching his every movement would likely be enough to drive him mad.

A message from Tubbo popped up on his screen. He yawned and tapped on the message, happy to have something to drag him away from job hunting.

**MASSIVE MEN GC**

**Toob: im boooooooooooored**

**tiredboo: Hi bored, I’m Ranboo**

**Toob: you suck**

**tiredboo: oh no!**

**tiredboo: anyways**

**tiredboo: what do you wanna do?**

**Toob: adhfhshfhhfdg**

**Toob: i odnt know**

**Toob: im just so inrcredinbly bored rn big guy**

**tiredboo: Did you do your homework?**

**Toob: i already googled all the answers**

**tiredboo: thats not what your supposed to do**

**Toob: work smarter not harder**

**tiredboo: if you say so**

**Toob: i do :)**

**Toob: i started wathing a show earlier**

**tiredboo: oh yeah? what show?**

**Toob: it’s a doctor show**

**Toob: like**

**Toob: a super overdramatin one**

**tiredboo: did you finish watching it**

**Toob: nope**

**tiredboo: i thought you said you were bored?**

**Toob: i am**

**tiredboo: wh**

**Toob: dont feel like watxhing it rn**

**tiredboo: mkay**

**Toob: im liking it so far**

**Toob: good acting**

**Toob: theyre all like**

**Toob: I dont think shes gonna make it**

**Toob: BUT DOC YOU DONT UNDERSTAHN SHES MAH LOEVR**

**Toob: and then she goes into a COMA**

**Toob: and then the drramatic musci startd playing and i cry**

**Toob: you know**

**Toob: we should watchi it together dome time**

**Toob: rnboo?**

**Toob: ranbooooo**

**Toob: are you sleoping?**

**Toob: what time is ti**

**Toob: come on its onlt 12**

**Toob: well**

**Toob: gn big guy**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> verryyyy very sleepy rn.
> 
> I kinda want to write a one-shot with Michael, but at the same time I'm not super sure on how I would want to structure that, so ehhhh...
> 
> Have a good one, I'll see y'all later! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Quick disclaimer- If I end up using the same display names as other fics at any point, I do apologize, as that isn't my intention. There are only so many names you can use in the early game of a fic while still keeping them easy to distinguish and understand without difficulty.


End file.
